Saturday, May 21, 2011

New Zealand Earthquake 2011

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Perhaps you've read the newspapers or seen the hoardings along I-95; or seen the CDC's posting, "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse"; or listen Camden's 106.9 FM, one of Family Radio's 150 stations that have been broadcasting warnings for months that the End of Days will take place ... today.

The Rapture, Camping says, will demonstrate itself as a cataclysmal earthquake that will open all graves and create mass frenzy. True believers will move up to heaven, while everyone else will suffer five months of abysmal wretchedness until God demolishs the world Oct. 21.

New Zealand will be struck first, Camping predicts. The 6.3-level quake that demolished much of Christchurch in February was but a clearing of the throat, he says, compared with the anger of the Almighty about to hit with full force.

In expectancy of property destruction; fires; flooding; break of essential services such as water, electricity, and cellphones; and the depletion of blood supplies, the American Red Cross Southeastern Pennsylvania Chapter remains ruddy.

As always, he said, the Red Cross is organised for all disasters, "earthquakes, terrorist attacks, nuclear meltdowns." No formal contingency, though, for the end of the world.

At the Streets Department, spokeswoman June Cantor said she would look into whether extra trucks had been put on alert to deal with the junk. "Anything else?" she asked.

Minutes later, she called back to say that all Rapture interrogations   were being referred to the Mayor's Office. Before changering the call, however, she said, "I've seen the billboards, but thought it was an ad for a book coming out on the 21st." Confused, perhaps, by ads for Murder at the Mikvah.


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